crotchless underwear for men

sacfree: men's crotchless underwear (eeuuhhh!)

The translated German press release reads: “The world-wide first testicle-free men’s underwear — a fantastic, comfortable, free feeling and a new sexy look. … And so it works: sacfree® protects and supports the penis in a bag-like pouch.”

Writer Marty Beckman gave them a try. How did the woman in his life react the first time seeing him “balls free?”

The sacfree press release promised: “With sacfree® there is something more to see for her … A new attraction for touching.” So back in our bedroom after dinner, I removed my shirt. “Oooooooh,” she cooed. I unfastened my belt. “Mmmmmmm,” she purred. I dropped my drawers.

“Your … your balls …?” she gawked at my crotchless boxers with a combination of bafflement and horror.

“Yes,” I nodded confidently. “My balls.”

She reached for the TV remote instead of my (semi-concealed, semi-showcased) male anatomy. “Put your pants back on,” she instructed. “Those look ridiculous.”

“You don’t have ‘a new attraction for touching?’” I asked, heartbroken.

Read all of Marty’s crotchless account.

November 2011 Update: as a public service for all those looking to go “sac-free,” I looked for websites that sell the product and was unsuccessful. My guess is that Sac-Free went out of business. Best bust out a pair of scissors and go the home-econ route. But remember guys, first take of your underwear before you start cutting!